We learn that there is a spiritual strength to every time in the Jewish year. For example, Nissan is a time of redemption. Not because this is when we were redeemed from Egypt – but rather, this is the time of the year during which that redemption took place – because this time of year is a time of redemption.
It will come as no surprise that Elul is a time of forgiving.
Actually, although I say it comes as no surprise, writing this did make me sit up and think. In my reality, Elul is a time for checking the school supplies lists, getting haircuts, buying the missing bits and pieces, feeling guilty my kids have very little to report on “what I did in the summer holidays”, realising I haven’t arranged any Yom Tov guests, and making menus. I usually don’t start to think about working on teshuva until Rosh Hashanah morning in shul.
What does it mean that there is a ‘spiritual strength’ to the month? I picture it as a travellator – you know, those moving walkways at the airport. We can do teshuva at any time of year at all. The ability to seek forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts that Hashem has given us. However, during Elul, it’s like He has installed a travellator to the gate of teshuva. Every step we take will take us three or four steps along the route at this time of year. But we do have to step on the travellator first.
We see this time of forgiveness in the episode of the golden calf. It was on Rosh Chodesh Elul that Moshe received the second set of luchos – signifying that the nation had been forgiven for building an idol during Moshe’s absence up Har Sinai.
I am fortunate enough to work as an area manager with a company that has a tremendously supportive command structure. Last month, rather than our usual one to ones, our district manager offered to spend those four hours out in the field with us. Whatever we wanted help with, she was happy to do. Her one caveat was that it needed to be something that we could learn from – so it would be more than just the four hours we benefitted from – that we would be upskilled and confident to help support our own teams in this area.
This is what I keep picturing for Elul at the moment. We are each the manager of our own little areas – ourselves, our families, our friends and colleagues. We have been given this opportunity when the CEO has offered to roll up His sleeves, and come down to help us. Now, as much as I could do with someone peeling the potatoes and cleaning the bathroom, this feels like a poor use of the skills available.
Newton’s first law of motion, also called the Law of Inertia, states that an object will remain at rest or continue moving at a constant velocity in a straight line unless acted upon by a net or unbalanced force. This means that a stationary object will stay stationary, and a moving object will keep moving at the same speed and in the same direction, unless a force disturbs it.
In other words, if I roll a ball towards you – it will keep rolling until something stops it, or someone else pushes it in another direction.
Or, using yet another image, when you are driving a car, even when you take your foot off the accelerator, the car will continue to move forwards by itself.
This applies to our thoughts and actions as well. We build habits by initially applying force, or making a decision, and then they continue in the same direction unless we take action to change that. For example – one day a few months ago, I wasn’t feeling quite satisfied after my lunch and wanted something sweet – but with minimal calories please! So, I made myself a cup of coffee, using artificial sweetener. It hit the spot, and so the next day I did the same thing. Now, only a few months later, it has become automatic – after lunch, I find myself getting up and making a cup of coffee (or grabbing a passing child to do so!)
Another example – I wanted to build on my morning davening. I decided I was going to include shemonah esrei, which is something I hadn’t said regularly until then. I was wary of putting too much pressure on myself and committing to include it every day, so I decided to put it on my habit tracker, and just watch to see how often I manage, rather than push myself to say it every day. I started with a couple of times a week, building up to 4 or 5. Then there was a very busy week where I didn’t say it at all – which was okay, because remember, I said no pressure. However, something inside me said that it wasn’t okay to be prioritising other things that I was making time for (like Duolingo), over speaking to Hashem. So, lo and behold, I now find myself a month later, I always say shemonah esrei – I will even prioritise it over eating breakfast if I’m short on time (and believe me, that is huge!)
Although in the first case my action formed an accidental habit, whereas the second was far more deliberate, in both cases, I made a move – and now the habit has continued, and I no longer need to even think about it. A bit like reaching out to put my glasses on in the morning.
In the classic sefer Shaarei Teshuva, Rabbeinu Yonah talks about the difference between a Talmud Chacham and an ignoramus. He says that a Talmud Chacham jumps to do teshuva straight away, where an ignoramus seeks to delay. But in today’s world, where we are at a weakened spiritual state, with so many pulls on our time and energy, even if we missed the opportunity to do teshuva straight away – we have been given this gift of Elul to literally turn things around.
When we talk about doing teshuva, this is what we mean. Our actions unchecked will become habits – we have pushed the boulder down the hill, and it will continue to roll without any further effort. Teshuva means to ‘return’ – we have to ‘turn’ the path of the boulder, so it doesn’t crush the village below. And that can only happen by taking action – we have to apply a force in a different direction. Depending how heavy that boulder is, and how much momentum it’s been able to build up, we may need quite some considerable force to change its direction. We might need to refine that force – perhaps the first priority is to push it away from where it is going now – then we can keep refining the path until it is going to where we want it.
The good news is that if we give that boulder a big enough push – it will start to gain momentum and continue down this new, desirable path without much more input. We have the power to make real changes.
And at this time of Elul – when Hashem is right here in the field with us – this is the opportunity to really make a significant change. Because He has put that travellator in place, and a smaller shove is needed to create a real change of direction.
All we need now is to decide which boulders we want to push, and what direction to send them in.